Catch My Disease
by flo4ever
Summary: Sesshomaru resorts to extreme means after he and Rin share a moment. Will things remain tense between them, or will Sesshomaru finally admit to himself how much his ward really means to him?
1. Blame

**Catch My Disease**

By flo4ever

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**Gosh, I suck at titles. I was listening to Ben Lee, and the song title just popped up on the page. I'm really psyched about getting back into Rumiko's world of demony goodness.**

**Summary: Sesshomaru resorts to extreme means after he and Rin share a moment. Will things remain tense between them, or will Sesshomaru finally admit to himself how much his ward really means to him?**

**Like I said, choice of song: Ben Lee –Catch My Disease.**

**Disclaimer: Rumiko owns all things IY, whereas I own a very nice set of Disney coffee mugs.**

**Enjoy!**

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Rin sighed, kicking at a small pebble on the ground. Had she really sounded that cold hearted? As much as she hated to admit it, she felt bad for what she had said to the stoic youkai. There was just never a good time to tell him. Ducking to avoid an overhanging tree branch, she groaned. Her eyes landed on a very familiar settlement. Her weary feet had carried her back to his castle. Habit, she figured. She always came to him when she was troubled, only this time the trouble was over him.

The demon lord actually winced, drawing the blade across his chest with a firm grip. The hand holding Toukijin was covered in blood as well, flowing down from slashes on his arm. Another silent gasp escaped from his tight lips, watching small splotches of the deep red liquid rise to the surface of his skin. Sure the self-inflicted wounds didn't hurt him, physically, but he was still pained by what she did to him.

She was the only one to blame.

Clenching his eyes shut, he dug the blade deeper, concentrating on the foreign, burning sensation traveling through his arm instead of the pain of conflict in his chest. Opening his red eyes slowly, he studied the damage he had done to himself. Cocking his head to the side, he sniffed, tracing a clawed finger along one of the jagged cuts. The blood, his blood, was an unfamiliar sight.

Rin stared at the door of his fort, unsure whether to knock or just go in, like she used to. She stood there, debating, concentrating on the soft lines on the wooden door. She couldn't believe she was going to do this, to tell him she was sorry. She wasn't going to take it back though. Shaking her head and sighing, she gathered her strength and pushed the door open. She at least owed it to him.

Swallowing the lump etched in her throat as she entered, she squinted in the darkness to make out his white form. Nothing. She almost wished Jaken would come running around the corner, spluttering insults and wave his staff at her head. She walked solemnly over to his mantle where his trusted swords were displayed above, running her fingers over the worn hilt of Tenseiga. She noticed Toukijin was missing. Had he stepped out? Her reflecting eyes shifted to the left, catching the soft glow of candlelight from his study. So he was here, then. She scuffled over to the room, hesitant to go in. Gathering her thoughts and courage, she dropped in, opening the door with a soft creak.

"Lord Sesshomaru, Rin..." She stopped, staring at the white figure. He sat on the edge of his desk, his red-and-white sleeve and white haori covered in blood. Her eyes focused on the sword that kills in his hand. She felt a lump rise in her throat again, "Oh Milord, what, what are you doing?"

His livid red eyes focused on hers, wavering slightly. He turned around, his back to her, and faced the wall. "Go away Rin...." His voice came out in a raspy whisper, instead of the collected calm that usually accompanied his voice.

Rin was shocked. How could he do something like this? Why was he hurting himself? She stood for awhile, watching the back of his head. She fought the need to reach out and comb her fingers lightly through his curtain of satin hair. It always used to relax him, visibly. He jumped slightly when her small hand grasped his shoulder. "

Milord?" He didn't even look at her, his eyes focused on the nearest wall.

She glanced around, rummaging through numerous cabinets when spotting a first aid kit on a nearby side table. His eyes finally fell on her when she murmured something about water, walking backwards, disappearing to the upper floor. He watched where she had gone, unable to look away. He jerked his head back around when he saw her returning.

"Sesshomaru?" She dared address him formally. Still he said nothing. She sat down next to him quietly, setting the bowl of water and first aid items down next to her.

If she was the reason for his self-inflicted torture, why then did he still want her around?

She sighed, grabbing the bloodied blade gently from his wintry fingers and tossing it to the floor where it hit with a sharp clang. Dipping a small towel into the water, she pulled his arm out, wiping away the blood. He didn't say a word as she cleaned his ghastly wounds. When she was convinced that his arm was cleaned up, she traced her fingers over some of the stripes on his pale skin. She swallowed as they began to bleed again, quickly grabbing the gauze she had brought. She wrapped his arm tightly; making sure the bandages wouldn't come off. He could easily rip them apart with a snap of his teeth or claws, she supposed. When she finished, he pulled his arm protectively back into his lap.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked coldly, still avoiding her gaze.

She stood slowly, standing in front of the brooding youkai. She pulled his face down to look at her, staring into his pained, red-rimmed eyes. He had been furious, quite a bit by the looks of it. He always chastised her for being so exceptionally observant at reading his emotions. Brushing her thumb over his closed magenta lids, she whispered softly. "Rin doesn't want to lose her friend." She removed her small hand from his face, giving his shoulder one last squeeze before walking out. "Goodnight, Lord Sesshomaru." Her voice floated through the room softly, wavering slightly. "I miss you."

He swallowed hard, standing and embedding the blade into the nearest wall with a sharp throw.

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***Le gasp* I feel like I should continue this... should I? Lend me your thoughts by reviewing!**


	2. Friend

**Catch My Disease**

By flo4ever

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**Wow! I'm really astounded at the number of reviews this story has gotten. I only meant for it to be a short, pointless drabble, but now you guys are actually asking for more!**

**Summary: Sesshomaru resorts to extreme means after he and Rin share a moment. Will things remain tense between them, or will Sesshomaru finally admit to himself how much his ward really means to him?**

**Listening to: Katy Perry – Self-Inflicted**

**Disclaimer: Rumiko owns all things IY. I am the proud owner of a fascinating Red Holstein Carmano heifer. Hmm... anime creator or dairy farmer, both tough shoes to fill.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 2 - Friend**

Rin listened to the disconcerted noise the door made as she slowly opened it. She misses her friend? Where had that come from? He wasn't her friend, he wasn't even human. He was a grumpy, obnoxious, pale faced piece of… She sighed and pushed the door open.

"Kagome?" No answer. She closed the door quietly, not sure whether the woman was asleep or not.

"Inuyasha?" The cocky hanyou didn't answer either, which concerned her. The little house was never this quiet. She walked into the kitchen to find a note on the counter, quickly written in Kagome's messy writing. Inuyasha had taken her to the well. Great, leave the sulking human girl alone in the house, just great. Crumbling the piece of paper, she scoffed and tossed it outside. She grabbed one of Kagome's brightly colored cups and began to fill it with cold water from a bucket. Being alone is not what she needed right now. Who knows what creatures of darkness had followed her back to the village. _Kagome is at the well with Inuyasha_… _Kagome is at the well with Inuyasha_… she repeated in her mind.

Kagome. She was one of her best friends, wasn't she? Of course she was, she had been for almost eight years now. She was the one who she would talk to, ask advice, go to for help, share her secrets, everything. She was always there for her.

Rin sipped at the cup, realizing that lately, Kagome wasn't always there. She hadn't been around much, no matter how hard she tried to be. Rin had seen more of her in her wandering days when they had travelled all over the world than she did now living with her. She didn't scurry to her when she was afraid or alone anymore either. Instead, she kept what she was feeling bottled up, not wanting the world or her friends to know she was so vulnerable.

But _he_ knew.

She told him, whenever she couldn't take it anymore she ran to him. For whatever reason he made her forget whatever was bringing her down. He was there to listen and he wouldn't repeat over and over that it would all be okay, because he knew it may not be. He didn't want to give her false hopes like they had. She had told him her deepest secrets, ones that she had even kept from her friends, and he simply let her confide in him.

He should've said no.

He wasn't her confidant anymore, she supposed. And, even if he wanted to be angry at her, even hurt her, she didn't think of him as her enemy. He wasn't anyone's enemy.

Rin downed the rest of her water and set the cup on the counter. Deciding that sleep would be a good option, she headed into her room. Yes, sleep would definitely be a good thing right now. "Arrogant emo bastard…" Rin muttered under her breath as she pealed her kimono from her body. Flicking it on her futon, she pulled out a sleeping yukata and slid into it.

As she pulled her hair down from its messy ponytail, her eyes drifted to the spot where her clothes had landed, catching the sight of deep red stain against the light green fabric. She walked over and picked it up, running her fingers carefully over the blood.

Sesshomaru's blood.

With a sigh, she tossed the kimono to the floor, slipping under the covers.

He wasn't there for her, but she wasn't sure if she could honestly depend on Kagome anymore either...

She was alone. They both were.

Sesshomaru sat with his back against the cold wall, his legs pulled up to his chest with his arm wrapped around them. His deep butterscotch eyes were locked on Toukijin embedded in the wall across from him, in the same position it had lodged after he had thrown it. He had contemplated getting up and grabbing it, but his mind was too clouded to concentrate on much of anything, let alone carving up his chest again.

Playing his strings, as Rin had put it.

His brain kept replaying what she had said to him, about missing him. As a friend. Was that really what she had thought of him? Part of him wanted to crumple because he couldn't be anything more to her. He wasn't sure what they were. Friends though? Perhaps.

He had mused over the thought awhile ago that no matter what was said about him, he was friendly with his mongrel brother and as much as it pained him, even the miko. They may not care for him, but he felt a correlation with them, a sort of companionship, even if they hated him. He wouldn't hesitate to protect them, but only for Rin, because they actually meant something to her. But that didn't make them _his_ friends, he supposed, that made them people _she_ cared about, nothing more. There had been Jaken, but something inside of him told him that he didn't count, that he was never really his friend. No one was. He had been alone. It was sort of an obligation, really, nothing like he felt towards Rin.

He adored Rin.

He swallowed heavily, his stomach feeling odd. He didn't adore her. He was her friend at best, but nothing more. He would protect her within a heartbeat.

Sesshomaru smiled wryly at his musings.

He shook his head, looking to the cobblestone floor. One name. One person who would actually care if he was gone.

He stood unevenly, casting a hard glance at the blade. He had unconsciously picked the wrap from his arms, leaving his arms exposed and fully healed. Sighing, he walked over and pulled the blade free, watching as it reflected the wan light on its bloodied steel surface. Clenching his jaw, he walked over to the desk, opening a drawer and tossing the blade inside.

Perhaps he would require its services later on.....

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**Oooooh what on earth did Rin tell him? If you review, I might supply your want with delicate hints. Maybe.**

**On a different note, ****this one was for ****DemonsxXxHeart****, whose review made me laugh so hard that I choked on my churro. *Emo-Sesshy***

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Sense

**Catch My Disease**

By flo4ever

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**I'm sorry for the tardy update, but my computer was so fucking stupid! It was defragmenting all of my files, and it resulted into many, many folders being hidden and lost.**

**But, crisis solved.**

**Thank you all for your reviews and patience, they've prompted me to kick some serious hardware ass and resume writing.**

**Summary: Sesshomaru resorts to extreme means after he and Rin share a moment. Will things remain tense between them, or will Sesshomaru finally admit to himself how much his ward really means to him?**

**Listening to: Jordin Sparks – Battlefield**

**Disclaimer: Rumiko owns all things IY. I simply bring her characters a liiiiittle bit out of their shell.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 3 - Sense**

Rin eyes fluttered open slowly, her dim pupils blinking furiously at the glaring sunlight. She groaned and sat up, wiping the sleep from her eyes as she yawned. Standing slowly, she walked over and pulled her bright green kimono off the floor. Combing her fingers through her hair she untangled a few knots and pulled it up into her typical ponytail. She opened the door and headed outside, deciding to check on old Kaede and maybe even get some work done.

Sesshomaru was curled in a small ball on his futon, his bloodied shirt lying on the teak floor next to him. At least he had enough sense to take it off before dozing off last night, sleep finding him for the first time since months. He stirred slightly, his excellent hearing registering a faint sound of movement nearby, not bothering to open his eyes. "Go away." He ground out, pulling the deep red comforter over his head in a meager attempt to avoid his younger brother. He cringed when Inuyasha stomped his bare foot on the futon, pulling the blanket down. He glared at him like a stubborn child.

"Bastard." He said curtly.

"Don't bastard' me, get the hell out." Sesshomaru growled, abruptly standing and grabbing the nearest haori off the ground. It wasn't clean, as Jaken hadn't gotten around scrubbing his clothes yet, but still better than the bloodied cloth he had on last night. He pulled it over his head and remained standing, his back to the hanyou. He crossed his arms over his chest, partially out of stubbornness and partially out of anticipation.

"What do you want?" He asked coldly, still refusing to look at him.

Glaring at the ground angrily, Inuyasha stood, walking over to where Sesshomaru was standing. He cast a quick glance down at his arms, which were now almost completely healed, only faint pink lines remaining where some of the deeper cuts had been. Inuyasha could still smell the crusted blood from Sesshomaru's 'incident,' taking his eyes from the marks as Sesshomaru pulled his arms tighter around his chest, he looked up at him. "I came to talk some fucking sense into you." Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and sneered, dropping his arms to his sides and heading up to the upper level. Inuyasha followed behind him, is deep red robe flopping about as he climbed up the stairs. He had been in Kagome's world for a while when he had decided to stop over to see him. Kagome was going to be late anyway, so that gave him enough time to kick some serious old fang faced ass. He walked inside the study to find the tree tall youkai standing in front of his desk, lifting Toukijin from an open drawer. His eyes landed on him as they stared at each other, unsure what to do. Inuyasha rested his hand lightly on Tetsusaiga's hilt.

"What now, half breed? Finally at a loss for words?" Sesshomaru asked mockingly. He shook his head, swallowing loudly.

"What, poor Sesshomaru's finally worthy to have someone care how he's doing? Hate to break it to you baby brother, but it isn't anything new. I'm still the same obnoxious demon you've grown to loathe and detest, so stop looking at me like I'm a little lost puppy."

Inuyasha went to speak but halted as a mass of chocolate brown hair cocked her head around the doorpost. When Rin fully emerged through the doorway, completely oblivious to his presence, Inuyasha took it as his cue to leave. He wasn't about to ground his brother into a heap of demon dust in front of Rin. Sending one last glare at Sesshomaru's direction, Inuyasha walked to the nearest window and jumped out, muttering something about being lonely.

Rin folded her arms and carefully observed her Lord. He was so different from how she had found him yesterday, as if nothing had happened. He was suddenly himself again, not the hazy and tortured creature she had stumbled upon only hours before. No wonder she had never known, he kept it hidden. That was probably one of the only secrets he had kept from her, and she could see why. She felt guilty and he didn't want her to feel a hint of sadness, especially not because of him. He didn't want to upset her, so he hid what she had driven him to.

"Ses- Milord?" was all she managed, rocking back on her heals.

She knew why.

He shrugged and fell back against the desk, hiding the blade behind his back. Let her figure it out on her own. He inhaled deeply, allowing the flowery scent to flow into his empty body. He allowed her personal fragrance to roll out of his nostrils, finally turning to face her.

"Why did you come back? You don't care anyway. I'm not a part of your life, remember?"

She cringed as he shot her words back at her. She had never apologized, had she? That's what she had come to do and it had completely slipped her mind. Tending to Sesshomaru's wounds was reason enough to forget, she guessed. His health was bit more of an issue than his feelings. But then again, his feelings were causing him to hurt himself. Foreign.

With a sigh, she walked over and sat down on the opposite end of the desk, looking at the ground. His eyes remained locked on her. "I'm sorry."

He snorted softly, "For what? Last night?"

She brought her eyes to his, smiling grimly, "No, for what I said to you, about you not being able to love. I'm sorry."

"You said I was a cold, heartless creature that was unable to care. And I suppose finding me slicing and dicing my hollow chest had nothing to do with this apology, that it came from _your_ heart, right?" He asked sarcastically, his cold tone returning. "I'm sure you would have told me that if you hadn't found me like that." He looked away from her, huffing indignantly. She didn't speak and he remained silent, not wanting to talk to her anymore. After a few moments, he gave up, finally turning to face her.

"This Sesshomaru highly doubts you came here to have a staring contest with me so why don't you get back to the village. I'm not going anywhere." He never ceased to amaze her. Here he was, pissed as all hell at her for finding him being emotional, and he was trying to make sure she didn't waste her time with him and get back to her own life. He always put her sake before his, even when something as serious as this came up.

With a defeated sigh, she pushed herself off the desk to stand directly in front of the white-haired demon. "No, Sesshomaru. We need to talk. They'll survive without me in the village for awhile."

He nodded his head at the ground, not sure what to say. For once she hadn't come to him when it was merely a convenience to her, she was actually putting her other priorities to the side for him.

"I meant it." She said quietly, almost inaudible. If he hadn't had ungodly hearing, he wouldn't have caught what she had said.

"Meant what?" Sesshomaru prompted.

"That I love you."

Silence.

"Why are you here?" He asked softly after a brief silence, finally able to look at her.

"Believe it or not, to say I was sorry." She rolled her eyes, smiling slightly. "I got a little side tracked though. Kaede made me collect herbs for a good part of the afternoon. I lost track of time."

"Hmm..." He muttered, glancing down at the marks on his arms. "Did you mean, well, the other thing you said too?" he asked, looking at her hopefully. Once again his feeling on the issue were conflicted, part of him wanting to be her closest and most trusted friend and the other part wanting to be something more.

She sighed, placing her tiny hand on top of his. "I don't know. Not right now, at least....but you're always so confusing. I don't know how to read you, Sesshomaru. But I don't think you are heartless, I mean that." She smiled slightly, standing. "I'll see you later Sesshomaru, I'm off to pounce on Inuyasha for not minding his own business."

He clenched his trembling hand into a fist at the loss of her touch, "Go get him." He ran his clawed fingers through his curtain of silk hair when she was gone, unsure what to do. Maybe she did think of him as a friend, but then again, he might just be reading _her_ all wrong. Pull the demon's strings; see what you can make him do. He buried his face in his hands. Inuyasha was right, life sucked, especially when you felt alone.

But Rin hadn't spent two hundred and fifty years alone...

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**Don't blame Sesshomaru for being angry at the world for not understanding his emotions. He still needs more time, like, a chapter or 2.**

**Let me know what you think! And thanks for reading.**

**Review plz!****  
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	4. His

**Catch My Disease**

By flo4ever

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**It took me what, 45.000 years to write this chapter? Kidding! Starting at a new school really takes it out of you. Every time I found an opportunity to write, something came up. Birthing cows, homework, putting all of my crap in boxes, getting settled into my new room, unpacking all of my crap, exams. Its life. **

**Whoosh. Glad to have that out of my system. I've been so caught up in my real life I forgot to make some scheduled appearances in the fictive side. It was much needed.**

**Disclaimer: Rumiko owns all things IY. I'm just using my crazy imagination and make them my slaves.**

**Aaand without further ado, I give you guys the final chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 4 - His**

Five sets of eyes looked up as a blinding light shimmered above the well in the forest. Sesshomaru emerged from the trees, carrying himself in his usual cocky manner. Miroku and Sango paid him little heed and went back to sanding Hiraikotsu in front of them, Inuyasha ground his teeth and made a comment about 'bad smelling old bastards', Rin gave the demon a genuine smile, whereas Kagome looked at him kindheartedly.

"'Rin." He ignored the others and stood in front of the human girl. Rin, 'his' human.

"Hi Sesshomaru, what's up?"

"Nothing, I came to see if these losers weren't giving you a hard time," He shrugged and looked at Inuyasha, "or one loser in particular, either way."

"Keh!"

"Its fine, Sesshomaru. We're just inspecting some new herbs to see if any involve medical substances." Kagome chimed, giving the demon lord a small smile. Maybe she cared, but then again, that was still only two people. Besides, when people smile at you, it doesn't necessarily mean they like you.

"You might as well go talk to Rin, there's nothing much to do here." Her eyes fell to her mate, who was looking at her with bulging eyes, as if begging her to shut up. The last thing Kagome wanted to do was to play referee. _Again._

"Very well, if you'll refrain from following us, mutt."

"Whatever." Inuyasha said, trying to sound casual. Rin stood from her crouching position and headed towards the fringe of trees.

"Come, Rin." Sesshomaru said, skimming her shoulder softly as he turned around and followed after his human.

The unusual pair walked in silence. Rin watched her lord out of the corner of her eye as his perfect contoured face fell into a slight scowl as they trudged through the dense coniferous floor. It was the same look he had the night she verbally exploded. Sensing her uncomfortable stare, Sesshomaru halted and looked to his side, his caramel eyes meeting her doe brown ones.

Rin slightly raised her eyebrows, questioningly, as she turned to fully face him.

"Tell me what's bothering you, Sesshomaru. You've been wanting to say something to me, its spread all over your face."

Sesshomaru cocked his head to the side, amused at yet another clever observation. He shrugged and shook his head. "Nothing. It's not important."

_The hell it is_, Rin thought. Smiling slightly, she walked up to him and gently wrapped her arms around his lithe waist. For once, Sesshomaru didn't tense. Instead he lifted his arms, enveloping Rin into a hug. His claws combed softly through her hair. It was an action he did not allow anyone else to experience with Rin.

Swallowing soundly, Sesshomaru shook his head again, silently arguing with himself. He was done being her friend, her confidant. He cherished her, adored her. Loved her. He'd seen it coming, this...admittance. The other day, after Inuyasha had left Sesshomaru started mulling over his parting words. Lonely. Sesshomaru had been lonely. He just hadn't realized it. Rin was a constant in his existence, and whenever they parted, he felt incomplete. He smirked, brushing a hand down the side of her face. She looked into his hopeful eyes before clenching her eyes shut.

"Sess..." she said quietly.

Rin looked at him, trying to keep her eyes from tearing up. She ran her hand from his arm up to his shoulder, looking him in the face, finally coming to rest on his cheek. She was tall enough now to reach him more easily, rather than stretching her entire body when she was little and still not being able to, even when she was on her tippy toes.

Sesshomaru's claws tightened on her hips, pulling her into him. A slow, feral grin tugged up the side of his mouth as Rin gasped at the sudden movement, and he wasted no time in bringing his lips down to touch hers. He placed a single kiss on her soft mouth, feeling the muscles tense and relax under his cold lips. His nose skimmed her jaw line, placing lazy kisses along her slender neck, resting on the curve of her collarbone.

Sesshomaru nuzzled her neck, smirking against her skin. He had only placed a chaste kiss on her lips, but he was satisfied nonetheless. Rin completely relaxed against him, resting her cheek against the smooth planes of his chest.

"Sesshomaru?"

"Yes, Rin." He whispered, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder. He met her brimming eyes without fear, confusion or hatred. He finally accepted that Rin was meant to be in his life. It was not destined, but there was no use in fighting it either. For the first time in his long and weary life, Sesshomaru admitted something to himself he thought wasn't even possible before.

Before Rin.

"I love you," she whispered.

Sesshomaru sighed, his emotions wreaking havoc on his once so collected mind. Stroking her hair, he didn't answer. He didn't need to.

She always knew how to read him so well.

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**The end!**

**I hope you all approved of the way I left them, because I think it would only be a long, pointless drab if I let them cuddle for the rest of the chapter and live a long and happy life in Sesshomaru's Magic Kingdom.**

**Thank you all for the reviews, they were wonderful!**

**Check out my other stories, even if most of them aren't IY related ;) Thanks!**


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